A 34-year-old man in Arizona called his internet provider's emergency helpline at 2am to report that his smart TV "refused to connect to the internet." After a 45-minute troubleshooting call involving three technicians, a supervisor, and a threatened lawsuit, it was discovered that he had been attempting to connect to his neighbour's network — which had been named "Not Your WiFi Kevin" — for approximately three weeks.

When informed of this, Kevin confirmed that yes, his name is Kevin, and yes, he had always wondered why his neighbour "kept changing their password on him." He did not understand why this was funny.

Kevin is fine. Kevin is eligible.